Philip Hilton rhapsodizes,
No millstone girds that swimmer
Just sinking in that swell.
No vicious shark tugs at him,
As his soul departs for — well,
Let’s not be rash.
God! I’d swear he was,
Just by that muscled thigh,
Or even by that face,
If I’d nothing else to go by,
Or that torso.
How did he swim so far?
Where are his fellows in the race?
Why did he finally sink?
Was he exhausted by the pace?
Unbelievable.
What would his fellows say?
(I mean if they still survived)
Did he lose hope of finding shore?
Or did he fear the shore to be decried?
They might wonder.
Did his fantastic muscles tire,
And did he wonder within
If the alleged shore was worth
The awful pain to him?
So he might have thought.
But what audacity to die!
What a daring autodestructive scamp!
And now he’s got his virgins,
And they’re partying
On the Titanic.
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Posted at 1:09 pm EST on the 19th of May 2009 by P. B. Hilton. Under Art, Poetry There are 10 replies. |
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Wonderfully ironical; the overbearing melodrama and whimsical narrative persona lend it a sort of tragicomic feeling. And the end is deliciously bombastic.
It is a most interesting poem, but I’m afraid I might have missed something here: who or what is this poem referring to? Is this some great swimmer crossing the Atlantic? The English Channel? I think not the latter, as people do so on a regular basis, and the Titanic is not there.
So, is the gist of the poem is: a guy is swimming a very large body of water, his endurance is magnificent, though his muscles scream in agony. And then he’s gone down to see ol’ Hob, aye? Not quite the happy ending, but that matters not.
And what’s this about virgins? Is he Muslim and was this great and glorious swim in fact some way of striking out against the heathen Christians? Else he would not die for Allah and get his 72 virgins. But that’s neither here nor there. :-P
A most interesting poem, to be sure!
Thanks guys. :)
No, I didn’t imagine him as Muslim. The point of the end bit is more or less to mock his lame failing by portraying it as an act of daring, and to mock his mournful end by portraying it as a pleasurable experience.
I like the meter of the last line of every stanza — it seems anticlimactic and unexpected, and sort of sets the tone of the poem.
Ah, I see. Nice. And ditto, Corinth.
Intriguing–the first time I read this through, I automatically assumed it was an allegorical poem. But it really could go either way. Which did you intend? Either way, very nicely written–the rhyme blends instead of jingling. The last stanza is has me on the fence, though…I can’t decide whether it ruins the poem or completes it. It’s unpolished compared to the rest, to be sure, and a bit out there. But as Nick said, it does make a bombastic finish.
I liked the way, in several places, the word or idea anticipated is suddenly changed. For example, the first stanza led up to the word ‘Hell,’ but instead, it was a weaker, ‘well, / Let’s not be rash.’ Paradoxically, this ‘weaker’ phrasing actually strengthens the idea with its irony. Likewise, at the end, I expected the swimmer and his virgins to be partying in Heaven, Hell, or perhaps Purgatory, but no, it’s on the Titanic, an idea which made me look back and re-imagine the virgins as mermaids: ridiculous, as you seem to have intended.
On second reading, stanzas 2-5 seem to drag down the poem a bit, mainly because they’re more sarcastic than ironic.
I’m still suspicious of that last stanza…not to pick on it, or anything. :-P But if your goal is mocking his “audacity” by portraying it as a pleasurable experience, that’s not really what comes across. Perhaps, in a vague sense, but the allusion to virgins is somewhat distracting. I think it’s a worthwhile way to mock him, but there are ways with less baggage.
Ella, I actually hadn’t intended stanzas 2-5 to be ironic at all. I was more or less serious until the last stanza.
Phil, really clever. Reminds me of a weird piece they have at the Des Moines Art Museum. Do you see the figure as a sort of anti Christ?