Women

Hannah Roorda writes:

It’s been a long week (and it’s only Tuesday)! I think perhaps it is time for something funny. Drawing on the fact that I am the only female contributor to this blog, I’d like to post some humorous quotes about the differences between men and women:

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.” ~Dave Barry

“Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.” ~Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956

“Sure, God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.” ~Author Unknown

“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” ~Charlotte Whitton

“The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” ~Ellery Queen

“I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.” ~Ogden Nash

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ” ~Aristotle Onassis

“The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. ” ~Author Unknown

“I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. ” ~George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

And if any of you gentlemen are ever searching for a kind word for your mother, sister, sweetheart… here’s a hint:

“To Woman: The fairest work of the Great Author; the edition is wonderful and no man should be without a copy.”

Posted at 3:54 am EST on the 30th of January 2008 by H. G. Roorda.

Under Sundry as ,

There are 9 replies.
 
  1. Cosmo says on January 30th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    “Drawing on the fact that I am the only female contributor to this blog, I’d like to post some humorous quotes about the differences between men and women”

    I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to say here… is it that being the only female, you feel you’re the only one to comment about the differences between men and women? or that being the only female, you feel you’re the only one to be humorous? Or both?

    Anyhow. I agree with you all the way. And have I mentioned how nice it is to have something with life in it here every week? Very nice.

  2. Han says on January 31st, 2008 at 12:09 am

    Oh, I just meant that as the only lady, I’m the only one that can say anything humorous about ladies and get away with it. :)

    You know, if you all cheated and posted quotes or poetry like me, there’d be a lot more content on here. :D

  3. Anonymous says on January 31st, 2008 at 6:56 am

    *laughs*
    Han! I love it! Love it!

  4. Mary Therese says on January 31st, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Very funny, Han! =D

    Although…
    “Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.” ~Author Unknown

    Isn’t that implying that God didn’t know what He was doing, and thus needed to do a rough draft first? If so, wouldn’t that be contradictory to His nature?

    And, if I might add one…
    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.” Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

    ~The other female who has yet to have the time to post anything worth reading. :P

  5. Galadriel says on February 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 am

    “A-men!”

    “A-women!”

    There’s an awesome men/women quote in C.S.Lewis’s That Hideous Strength, but I’m still to lazy to go find and copy it.

  6. John R. Ahern says on February 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    “The cardinal difficulty,” said MacPhee, “in the collaboration between the sexes is that women speak a language without nouns. If two men are doing a bit of work, one will say to the other, ‘Put this bowl inside the bigger bowl which you’ll find on the top shelf of the green cupboard.’ The female for this is, ‘Put that in the other on in there.’ And then if you ask them, ‘in where?’ they say, ‘in there, of course.’ There is consequently a phatic hiatus.” He pronounced this so as to rhyme with “get at us.”

    “There’s your tea now,” said Ivy Maggs, “and I’ll go and get you a piece of cake, which is more than you deserve. And when you’ve had it you can go upstairs and talk about nouns for the rest of the evening.

    “Not about nouns: by mean of nouns,” said MacPhee…

    That Hideous Strength

  7. Galadriel says on February 5th, 2008 at 5:43 am

    Thank you, John. (:

  8. Catey says on February 16th, 2008 at 3:49 am

    Wow, that was amazingly compiled, Han! I am going to quote those extensively.

    Catey M

  9. Anomalous says on January 9th, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    Women like the simple things in life.
    Like men.
    -Anonymous